One morning, before the sun came up, I ventured downstairs to spend some time alone with the Christmas tree. It’s so still and quiet that I could practically hear my heart beat. Holidays can be tough for those of us who have experienced loss.
This holiday … the holiday of Christmas has long been my favorite. The colorful lights, the sounds and smells have always made my spirit soar, but after the loss of my son, everything felt hard and cold – even something I loved like Christmas.
This quiet morning before dawn, I prayed for help. Christmas is all about joy and love… and hope. Hope for another day to see my boy again but the reality that today would not be the day. How do I learn to wait? I rocked back and forth in the rocking chair my sister had made for me the first year of my marriage. The lights were softly twinkling as I gazed at the tree. Then I shut my eyes and prayed that God would help me feel the peace and joy of the season as I had always known. Suddenly, it felt as if I heard my answer reflecting in the red glow of the lights on the tree. It’s all about attitude – MY attitude. I shouldn’t be sad because the past Christmas’s are over, but be happy because they happened!!!
That’s IT! Life is all about choices, and it was up to me to choose to enjoy the holiday. My life continues to go on. How do I want to spend it? Do I want to be happy or sad? Can I find the brightness in the holiday? Helen Keller, who had spent her life never having the opportunity of seeing Christmas lights, once said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” I simply had to open the new Christmas door.